Wordless Wednesday Edition #8 *Note: Drawing was done by my daughter, Kaitlin. There were 3 from her 6th grade class that were chosen to have their artwork sent on to the county art contest.

Thanks to Hoochie Mary again for posting for me today. Whatever would I do without her helping me? She is a diamond in the ruff… One day I will tell the story of how “The Hoochies” and “The Hottie” came about. I can relate from past experience to most all of these. I just realized this morning that it has been over 18 months since I’ve had a drink. It’s not because I can’t drink, it’s because I choose not to. I just don’t have the desire for it anymore. So for your reading pleasure I have the 5 Levels of Hangovers: If you can read this without laughing or you can't relate to any of it, you are on the wrong mailing list my friend... One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now... THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: 1.) Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2.) Nope, no more booze for me. 3.) Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4.) Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight. 5.) Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing. 6.) Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

I want to thank Hoochie Mary for posting this for me. As the internet police have locked down blogger it is impossible to post blogs or comment on other blogs from work. I have been looking around for other places to blog, but I can’t find any place that I like as well. All the others do not have ways for me express myself like blogger. We are having internet issues at home, so access is limited. Hopefully, we will have internet issues at home solved by the end of the week, and then it will be back to business as usual. So everyone please bear with me. I am NOT ignoring anyone. Please don’t take me off your list…. I will be back… So until I can get back into full swing, I’m going to leave you with this. Ain't it the Truth!!! A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 130. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 4," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 0". She then takes her blood pressure And tells the woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!" Wet Pants There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat." He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!" Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. “You've done enough, you klutz!" Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too." May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good. Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car. Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

FRIDAY FUNNY!!!!! ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS! Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary submitted this... Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 42nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against flesh or a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really (and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! (&# %&) (# %) (&#*#*)!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner and then body slammed us both on the carpet over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ONE-SECOND BURST when you zap yourself!!! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. That hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles and offering a significant reward for their safe return. The Internet Police have blocked my access so I can not post or comment only read and I will probably be going over to LiveJournal. I will let everyone know when that happens.

Edition #8 HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times! 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;) 3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's! 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. 6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. 11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. 12. Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much 13. John Lennon's line "Life is what happens while you're making other plans

Wordless Wednesday Edition #7

Congratulations to The Chicago Bears on their victory over the New Orleans Saints on Sunday. They go on to face the Indianapolis Colts in the Super Bowl.... Everyone who knows me knows that I do not like Peyton Manning. I did not like him when he played for Tennessee... so I'm rooting for The Bears.... GO BEARS!!!! I remember that 1985 Super Bowl team. I remember Walter Payton, Mike Singletary, Jim McMahon... but my favorite was William "The Refrigerator" Perry... He attended Clemson University and was a first round draft pick for the Chicago Bears in1985. Nicknamed "The Refrigerator" for his HUGE, square-like frame, He was 6 feet, 2 inches and weighed in at 326 pounds. He wasn't a so great on paper, only 29.5 sacks through his entire career, but he quickly became a household name and a favorite of the Chicago Bears fans. His Super Bowl ring is the largest ever known at a whopping size 25… the average man’s ring size is 10 – 12. After his tenure with The Chicago Bears, he retired in 1994. "Even when I was little, I was big." - William “The Refrigerator” Perry I remember The Super Bowl Shuffle... so here it is... Super Bowl Shuffle Red Label Records, 1985 Music: B. Daniels, L. Barry Lyrics: R. Meyer, M. Owens Chorus We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you. We're so bad we know we're good. Blowin' your mind like we knew we would. You know we're just struttin' for fun Struttin' our stuff for everyone. We're not here to start not trouble. We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle. Walter Payton Well, they call me Sweetness, And I like to dance. Runnin' the ball is like makin' romance. We've had the goal since training camp To give Chicago a Super Bowl Champ. And we're not doin' this Because we're greedy. The Bears are doin' it to feed the needy. We didn't come here to look for trouble, We just came here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle. Willie Gault This is Speedy Willie, and I'm world class. I like runnin' but i love to get the pass. I practice all day and dance all night, I got to get ready for the Sunday fight. Now I'm as smooth as a chocolate swirl, I dance a little funky, so watch me girl. There's not one here that does it like me, My Super Bowl Shuffle will set you free. Mike Singletary I'm Samurai Mike I stop'em cold. Part of the defense, big and bold, I've been jammin' for quite a while, Doin' what's right and settin' the style, Give me a chance, I'll rock you good, Nobody messin' in my neighborhood. I didn't come here lookin' for trouble, I just came to do The Super Bowl Shuffle (Repeat Chorus) Jim McMahon I'm the punky QB, known as McMahon. When I hit the turf, I've got no plan. I just throw my body all over the field. I can't dance, but I can throw the pill. I motivate the cats, I like to tease. I play so cool, I aim to please. That's why you all got here on the double To catch me doin' the Super Bowl Shuffle. Otis Wilson I'm mama's boy Otis, one of a kind. The ladies all love me For my body and my mind. I'm slick on the floor as I can be But ain't no sucker gonna get past me. Some guys are jealous Of my style and class, That's why some end up on their -, I didn't come here lookin' for trouble, I just get down to The Super Bowl Shuffle. Steve Fuller They say Jimbo is our man. If Jimmy can't do it, I sure can. This is Steve, and it's no wonder I run like lightnin', pass like thunder. So bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas, This is for Mike and Papa Bear Halas. I'm not here to feather his ruffle, I just came here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle. Mike Richardson I'm L.A. Mike, and I play it cool. They don't sneak by me 'cause I'm no fool. I fly on the field and get on down. Everybody knows I don't mess around. I can break'em, shake'em, Any time of day. I like to steal it and make 'em pay, So please don't cry to beat my hustle 'Cause I'm just here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle. (Repeat Chorus) Richard Dent The sackman's comin', I'm your man Dent. if the quarterback's slow, He's gonna get bent. We stop the run, we stop the pass, I like to dump guys on their -. We love to play for the world's best fans, You better start makin' Your Super Bowl plans. But don't get ready or go to any trouble Unless you practice The Super Bowl Shuffle. Gary Fencik It's Gary here, and I'm Mr.Clean. They call me "hit man," Don't know what they mean. They throw it long and watch me run, I'm on my man, one-on-one. Buddy's guys cover it down to the bone, That's why they call us the 46 zone. Come on everybody let's scream and yell, We're goin' to do the Shuffle, Then ring your bell. William Perry You're lookin' at the Fridge, I'm the rookie. I may be large, but I'm no dumb cookie. You've seen me hit, you've seen me run, When I kick and pass, we'll have more fun. I can dance, you will see The others, they all learn from me. I don't come here lookin' for trouble, I just came here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle. (Repeat Chorus)

It's just another manic Monday. Hey folks, yup is Monday and I'm going crazy. We are having auditors in next week and the things that my boss waits to do at the last minute just drives me nuts! It's gets so bad about 2 weeks before that I'm taking work home with me. I vow each time to never do it again, but you know you're NEVER suppose to say NEVER... I'm not vowing that this time cause I know what will happen. Saw this posted on Yahoo Friday that Donald Trump is being fined for flying an American Flag. This is what was posted: WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Officials in the ritzy coastal town of Palm Beach have voted to fine Donald Trump $1,250 a day for flying a large American flag atop an 80-foot flagpole at his lavish club in violation of town codes. Code enforcement officials have accused the 60-year-old real-estate mogul of violating zoning guidelines with a flagpole taller than 42 feet, for not obtaining a building permit, and for not getting permission from the landmarks board. Trump has refused to take down the flag. He has also filed a $25 million lawsuit against the town arguing, in part, that officials are selectively enforcing ordinances and that flying the American flag at his Mar-A-Lago club is a constitutionally protected expression of free speech. "The town council of Palm Beach should be ashamed of itself," Trump said Thursday in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "They're fining me for putting up the American flag. This is probably a first in United States history." Trump's club hoisted the 15-by-25-foot flag atop the 80-foot pole at the sprawling waterfront site on Oct 3. The town had given him until Nov. 27 to remove the flag or apply for approvals. "I think Mr. Trump, the property owner, picked this fight. I think he's been provocative," said Martin Fried, a member of the town's Code Enforcement Board. Officials voted Thursday to fine Trump. Trump said he wouldn't pay any fines and would keep the flag flying. " It's all up in the court," he said. "It'll be a long time, unfortunately." What do you think? Feel free to leave your thoughts on this. As I don't have very much time this morning for post I'm going to give you some humor... THE YOUNG MINISTER As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the back hoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", "Glory", and such. I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelation -- I wasn't going to let this homeless man go out without someone taking notice of the service! I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for more than 20 years."

Do you think kids today could survive if they didn't have cell phones, X-Box, I-Pods, etc.... I think they could. Wouldn't it be nice to go back to those days? 1 First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. 2 They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes. 3 Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. 4 We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. 5 As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. 6 Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. 7 We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. 8 We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. 9 We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because we were always outside playing! 10 We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. 11 No one was able to reach us all day. And we were o.k. 12 We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. 13 We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, x-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms..........we had friends and we went outside and found them! 14 We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. 15 We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever. 16 We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! 17 Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! 18 The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! 19 This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! 20 The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. 21 We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all!

Edition #7 Since I did have a birthday yesterday and I am now officially 40 something...here are: Some reflections on aging: 1 Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 2 The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. 3 Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. 4 How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? 5 When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. 6 You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. 7 I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. 8 One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. 9 Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 10 Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you. 11 If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old. 12 First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. 13 Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY Edition #5 (I think)

For Ann - - - WITH LOVE

January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968 I did not originally hear Dr. King give his speech, but to hear it even today is as powerful as if I had originally heard it. I would love to see the world he describes. It is true we have come a long way from this time period, but sadly we HAVE NOT overcome all racism, and its as sad now as it was then. I was only 3 years old when Dr. King was assassinated in Memphis Tennessee. Throughout my life, I have grown to admire Dr. King for what he stood for. He was a leader to not only his people, but to ALL oppressed people. Dr King had a dream.... a dream that one day ALL men and women would be equal. That they would not be judged by the color of their skin but by content of their character. He brought together nations and helped us to see things from someone else's eyes. He took a stand against powerful people when no one else would. He kept trying once he was doubted and threatened. Martin Luther King Jr. got people around the world to look past "black" labeling and accept and love him. From Wikipedia: Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was a famous leader of the American civil rights movement, a political activist, and a Baptist minister. In 1964, King became the youngest man to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize (for his work as a peacemaker, promoting nonviolence and equal treatment for different races). On April 4, 1968, Dr. King was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee. In 1977, he was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Jimmy Carter. In 1986, Martin Luther King Day was established as a United States holiday, only the fourth Federal holiday to honor an individual (the other three being in honor of Jesus of Nazareth, George Washington, and Christopher Columbus). In 2004, King was posthumously awarded the Congressional Gold Medal. He was known as a great public speaker.[1] Dr. King often called for personal responsibility in fostering world peace.[2] King's most influential and well-known public address is the "I Have A Dream" speech, delivered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.. Dr. King is one of the few true American heroes. In a time where it has become fashionable to hero-bash--the name of Dr. King has remains unblemished, and justifiably so. Dr. King stood for what he believed, and was a man ahead of his time. In the face of adversity, he dedicated and sacrificed his life for the equality of all people. His dream, which many today still share, has continued to live on as his legacy. His adversaries took his life, but his heroic legacy will never die. "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we're free at last."

FOR ANN Today, I want to share this poem for my dear friend Ann whose Mom passed away today from cancer. May God wrap his arms around her and her family during this time and comfort them. SAFELY HOME AUTHOR UNKNOWN I am home in heaven, dear ones, All's so happy, all's so bright. There's perfect joy and beauty In this everlasting light. All the pain and grief are over, Every restless tossing passed. I am now at peace, forever, Safetly home in heaven at last. Did you wonder how I calmly Trod the Valley of the Shade? Oh, but Jesus' love illumined Every dark and fearful glade. There is still work waiting for you, So you must not idle stand Do your work while life remains, You shall rest in Jesus' land. When that work is completed, He will gently call you home, Oh, the rapture of the meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come Tears In Heaven By Eric Clapton BestAudioCodes.com

FRIENDS "My friends are my estate."- Emily Dickinson "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." - Steve Klaka... yup, this is exactly what happened January 2006... we were united by a soul man and boy oh boy at the friendships that we have made. Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines friends as: friends - one attached to another by affection or esteem. Well that is fine and dandy, but I have a different defination of FRIENDS. Friends - are special people. Our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose, Close friend, Best friend, Childhood friend, Intimate friend, Trusted friend, Beloved friend. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life. I know that I have made bad choices in friends over the years and then I have made good choices. The bad choices I, in a way, can't regret because if I had not made those choices then I would have never know what a true and trusted friend is. In our short lived life, we very seldom have "true" friends. The ones that we do have we should cherish with every waking moment. I found two poems that I would like to share with you today. Friend by: Jodi Kenyon A friend is someone true and for real, A friend is someone who means a great deal. A friend won't hurt you, A friend won't lie, A friend will never permanantly say good-bye. A friend is there through the good times and bad, A friend is there to cheer you up when your sad. A friend is always there with a shoulder to cry on, A friend is always there that you can rely on. So, friend if you ever need someone honest and true, Just remember ill always be here for you . Friends by: Lindsey Shirocky Friends are there until the end, They're always themselves, no pretend. They're not afraid to be seen with you, They will never betray you. Friends never tell secrets they promise to keep, they make you feel good about yourself in times of weep. They come and cheer for you at your games, In a friend there is no shame. Friends are there to listen when you're depressed, They are the people you should know best. Friends are like presents you open again and again, Always are with you through thick and thin. It's not the QUANTITY of friends that you have. If you have just one friend, and that friend is a "true" friend then that is all that you need. "Remember that every good friend was once a stranger" - André Have a good weekend! SMOOCHES!

THURSDAY THIRTEEN Edition #6 Ponderisms 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!) 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans? 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? AND ONCE AGAIN THIS WEEK - EXTRA 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ...they're cramming for their final exam. 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks? 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? 24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY Edition #5 Everyone knows that I'm a HUGE fan of CSI Miami and Horatio Caine... those looks OH. MY. GOD!!! So for my Wordless Wednesday...

Two for Tuesday - 2nd post today... be sure to read both... Well I was tagged by Bond who was tagged by Sanni to do this...so... SILLY MEME 1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? “Lose weight” 2.How much cash do you have on you? Ummmm cash… what’s that… Oh, I know… I have exactly $3.19 3.What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Chore 4.Do you label yourself?No 5.Bright or Dark Room?Dark 6.Why is there always a missing question?I have no clue…. 7.What does your watch look like?Don’t wear one often but when I do it’s a silver/gold Fossil 8.What were you doing at midnight last night?hehehehehehehe… I’ll never tell… 9.Where is your nearest 7-11? We do not have those here… so I’m not really for sure. 10.What’s a word that you say a lot? Cool Beans 11.Who told you he/she loved you last?Tony 12.Last furry thing you touched?Tokoyo, my cat 13.How many rolls of film do you need developed?None, have a digital camera 14.Favorite age you have been so far?18… was legal drinking age at the time and could get into bars 15.Your worst enemy?Myself 16.What is your current desktop picture?A Snowman from Webshots 17.What was the last thing you said to someone?”That was fast. Must have had the medal to the metal” (referring to a co-worker who picked up some lunch for me) 18.The last song you listened to?Just to Feel That Way – Taylor Hicks 19.What time of day were you born?I haven’t a clue.. I’m adopted you know. 20.What do you do when vending machines steal your money?Silently curse and write up a reimbursement ticket 21.Do you consider yourself kind?Yes 22.What’s your life motto?Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. 23.Name three things you have on you at all times. Lighter, my personal stuff, pictures of my kids 24.Can you change the oil on a car? Well NO! 25.When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?Ummmmm….. Ummmmmm…… Ummmmmmmm….. I can’t remember… it’s been that long. I tag: Busy Turnbaby Sgt. Dub

For Ann - my dear friend..... Several months ago I posted this poem for a dear friend who lost their father to cancer, several weeks after I lost my dad. A very dear friend of mine gave this to me when I lost my older brother 7 years ago after a long battle with diabetes. Today I am once again posting this for my dear friend Ann. A friend who I have never met face to face but a friend that I have felt like I have known my entire life. I swear I believe that she was one of my sisters in a past life. Ann is an incredible woman with incredible strength and now I know who she gets that strength from. So for you my dear Anndi pants... I love you... Footprints One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that at the worst times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. How could you leave me when I needed you the most? "The Lord replied " "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of suffering and when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I HATE MONDAYS!!!! Have you ever wished that there was no such thing as Monday? Then of course, it would be Tuesday and I would have that day too.... LOL Have you ever wished that there was an extra day in the weekend just so you can sleep late? I do it all the time. For those who know me, you know that I truly enjoy sleeping, that Saturday is my sleep day, that if ANYONE calls before noon it had better be a good reason... you know like somebody has died, been in a car accident or even Taylor Hicks concert tickets... if anything else well watch out I'm fit to be tied ... I really didn't have any house cleaning or laundry to do Saturday so I didn't get out of bed until 2:00 pm... I had been awake for some time but just laid in the bed and watched tv. I watched something that I really shouldn't have but I did any way. There was a 3 hour show on the Military channel called "Making Marines"... Needless to say, I cried for about 3 hours, knowing that what I was watching that in 6 months that my son would be doing the exact same thing. Y'all next time make sure that I don't watch anything like that. Somebody please take the remote away from me. I knew better... I found this over the weekend and wanted to share with everyone. It sends a wonderful message. A bunch of soldiers went to Church. After the Chaplain had read the prayer, the soldiers were ordered to open up their bibles. Those who had a prayer book took them out, but this one boy had only a deck of cards, and so he spread them out. The Sergeant saw the cards and said, "Soldier put away those cards." After the service was over, the soldier was taken prisoner. The Marshall said, "Sergeant, why have you brought the man here?" "For playing cards in church, Sir." "And what have you got to say for yourself, son?" "Much, Sir." Replied the soldier. The Marshall said, "I hope so, for if not I shall punish you more than any man was ever punished." The soldier said, "Sir, I've been in the field for about six days, I had neither Bible nor prayer book, but I hope to satisfy you, Sir, with the purity of my intentions." With that, the boy started his story: You see Sir, when I look at the "ACE", it reminds me that there is but one God. And the "DEUCE" reminds me that the Bible is divided into two parts; The Old and the New Testaments; And when I see the "TREY", I think of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost; And when I see the "FOUR", I think of the four Evangelists who preached the Gospel. There was Matthew, Mark, Luke and John; And when I see the "FIVE", it reminds me of the five wise virgins who trimmed their lamps. There were ten of them, five were wise and were saved. Five were foolish and were shut out; And when I see the "SIX", it reminds me that in six days, God made this great heaven and earth; When I see the "SEVEN", it reminds me that on the seventh day, God rested from His great work; And when I see the "EIGHT", I think of the eight righteous persons God saved when He destroyed this earth. There was Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives; And when I see the "NINE", I think of the lepers our Savior cleansed. And nine out of the ten didn't even thank Him. When I see the "TEN", I think of the Ten Commandments God handed down to Moses on a table of stone; When I see the "KING", it reminds me that there is but one King of Heaven, God Almighty; And when I see the "QUEEN", I think of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is Queen of Heaven; And the "JACK" or "KNAVE" is the Devil; When I count the number of spots on a deck of cards,I find 365, the number of days in a year;There's 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year;There's 4 suits, the number of weeks in a month;There's 12 picture cards, the number of months in a year;There's 13 tricks, the number of weeks in a quarter; So you see, Sir, my pack of cards serves me as a Bible, Almanac and Prayer Book. This story derived from and song by Tex Ritter & T. Texas Tyler Have a good day! Smooches!

What do your dreams mean? Why do we have Déjà vu? Have you ever had a dream and wonder what was the meaning? Don’t you get that eerie feeling when you have Déjà vu? I dreamed all night last night. It’s rare that I remember my dreams but when I do, I never forget them, especially the one I had last night I will never forget, it was about Daddy. Tony, Matt, Kaitlin, Mother, Daddy and I had driven to my brother’s house in Texas, which is an 18 hour drive… I know because we made that trip in 2005 for Spring Break. In my dream, we were on the island and Daddy went missing. We looked everywhere for him, I drove up and down that island for most of the night. Finally, Chris told us all to go back home and he would continue his search for Daddy. With hesitation we left thinking that Daddy was somewhere still on South Padre Island, Texas. That was the longest drive home… we finally made it back home and when we pulled into my drive, there was Daddy sitting in the swing in the yard with this black lab next to him. We all jumped out of the car and ran over to him and I knelt down in front of him and said “Daddy, how in the world did you get home?” His response to me was “On the bus.” Then I woke up…….. So what does this mean???? Have you ever had the feeling that you have been there and done that? Déjà vu is defined as “the remembering of scenes and events when experienced for the first time, or a feeling that one has seen or heard something before.” It is a French term and literally means "already seen.” When you have Déjà vu, does that mean that you are in a place where you are suppose to be at that time in your life? Could Déjà vu happen because this has happened to you in a past life? I can’t answer this, but what a weird feeling. This happened to me yesterday. I was driving down the road, on a road that I do not travel very often, a road that I may drive on once or twice a year, if that much. All of a sudden I see this red Ford truck with a dog in the back, on my side of the road. I swerve to miss the truck as he is on my side of the road and there is a tree limb there that I have to swerve back to miss. I swear this had happened before… but it hadn’t. It was like I had already been there and done that. A thought for the weekend… Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment To watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, It would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it" If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they’ll be a better person in the end. "Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once." Have a great weekend all! SMOOCHES!

Edition #6 Retirees really shouldn't worry about these but if you are a SITCOM, STRESS PUPPY, or an ADMINISPHERE in GENERICA who works in a CUBE FARM for a 404 where CROP DUSTING is an act of defiance, then youjust might familiarize yourself with these 2007 vocabulary editions! I do hope though, that all of you are or will become WOOFS. NEW WORDS FOR 2007: Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!! 1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. 2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. 3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. 4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. 5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles. 6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. 7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. 8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. 9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. 10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. 11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. 12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. 13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer------ and a few more.... 14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located. 16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions. 17. OHNO-SECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake). 18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks. 19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm. SMOOCHES!

I'M BACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! I'm back to blogging at the request of so many. Ok, alright already...my butt is UP out of the bed and back to work, grrrrrrrrrr... Do y'all realize how hard it was for me to get up at 5:00 am after being off for almost 2 weeks??? I have got sooooo much to catch up on that it's not even funny. This is going to be a really hectic month for me. We have an audit coming up at the end of the month and I've got paperwork running out of my nose.... So what did I get for Christmas... I got a beautiful diamond circle necklace, pajamas, an air popcorn popper, good smelly bath stuff, a shower massager and perfume from Victoria's Secret. Nothing much... ::wink As you can see, I've put up a bar counting down how much time Matt has left at home. Please keep us in your prayers. Just thinking about it, I get this HUGE lump in my throat. I know this is what he is wanting to do and y'all know that I'm supporitng him 110%... but I'm still his mother and it's my first born leaving home and... well y'all get it. Remember to keep praying for our troops overseas that they safely come home soon. And for my Worldless Wednesday: SMOOCHES!