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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Proudly Brought to You by Dixie 9:48 AM
Election Day 2006 and a little dog funny
It's that time again to exercise you right to vote. So make take that few minutes out of your day and go to the polls and vote.
I am a firm believer in exercising my right to vote. I feel that if I don't vote, then I can't complain about what goes on in our govertment because I didn't have a say. Now the person I voted for may not have been elected to office, but since I did exercise that right, I can complain.
An Election Day prayer that I received in an e-mail from b.fava....
We place the United States and the process of these elections in Your hands. Across America, decisions will be made between opposing points of view and choices will be made between candidates for public office. Pour Your spirit upon us. We seek Your will for this land and for the whole world. May justice, mercy, peace, love and hope guide the decisions we make. May making the best possible choices be our collected intention and experience. We know that in You, we are One. So be it. Amen
TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, My last two questions . .
Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
SMOOCH, HUG & GROPE