Manic Monday - PRIDE

Mo says that the word for Manic Monday is "PRIDE". Thanks Mo for "PRIDE". Anyone who reads my blog knows exactly what my "PRIDE" is. My "PRIDE" is my son, my Marine, my hero. I go back to my post of October 2007 when my "PRIDE" graduated from boot camp. Thirteen weeks ago I sent my only son off to boot camp. I wasn't sure who was more afraid, me or him. I've cried many days, from loneliness, worry, fear, pride, anticipation, heartache and love. They say a recruit goes through a transformation, from young child, to young adult. They are stripped to the core and rebuilt, with confidence, courage, dedication, strength, commitment and honor. All the things a parent spent their lives teaching, the DIs just fine tune them. As a mother, the strings are pulled taunt and stretched to the limit by forces of life. Do we really ever let go of our children? I think not. The bonds of love are strong! During these 13 weeks, I also have gone through a transformation, even if it was involuntary. I have learned I do not have control over all my son chooses in life. I have learned that I will have to step back and let him soar. I have learned I can hide my fear well, and that there is no end to the pride I can feel. I have learned that the future is God's, and though I may not always understand it, I accept it. I can’t imagine what Matt has gone through in his head in the past 13 weeks; how he felt, what he thought. The loneliness, despair, deprivation that he must have felt in the beginning. Matt could have chosen many paths; keg parties, football games, technical school or just working with no future plans or worries about tomorrow. He chose the most difficult route of all and this says volumes about his character. It is a testament to the positive factors that have affected his life and his ability to shun the negative and accentuate the positive. He is an extraordinary young man. I am so proud of him. Matt, like all of the other men of Echo Co., is of a generation that has been privileged, given a great deal, exposed to so many secular influences, not known for their study of American history or their appreciation of what this country represents, how it has survived and the sacrifices men and women have made to make it the greatest country on earth. I use to be afraid that Matt would never understand his heritage. I now know that something clicked in him and he did understand that some must wear the uniform, face whatever they must in order to insure our way of life. The Marine Corps will leave an indelible mark on him that will last until the day he dies. He will pass that along to the next generation. Matt will someday look at his son and wonder the same thing I did; does he understand the meaning of this country, its’ history, how special the USA is in the history of western civilization. I believe his children will. He will pass it along. Matt will be different when he returns. The changes may be subtle, quiet, and hard to define. He will be even more introspective than he was before he left. He will think about what he went through and wonder about his fellow Marines that shared his time in Hell and believe me that is exactly what he went thorough. It will be hard in the beginning for him to adjust to his old life while he is home. He now has a second family that means a great deal to him; that can share what he went through and with whom he can identify. My son is now a United States Marine. My cup is overflowing with joy and pride. Matt has taught me a very valuable lesson in patriotism. When he first told me of his plans to be a Marine, I questioned him; “Why would you want to do that. We are in a terrible conflict right now, plus the military is for people that can't afford an education on their own." I now understand why Drill Instructors refer to some civilians as "ignorant" civilians. I prayed a prayer of ignorance and ask God to forgive me for being so blind to the calling of a warrior. I am so proud of Matt. His commitment and follow through with this plan is incredible to me. He was born to be a Marine. OOH RAH Yes, Matt is my PRIDE but I also have another great PRIDE, Kaitlin. This child is crazy... ;-) How could a mother not have PRIDE with a daughter like this one. I will pay for my raising with this one.Yes, Kaitlin is still young and has many paths that she must chose in her life, but whatever the path is that she decides to take, I know that she will make me equally as PROUD of her as I am of Matt. This will be the only post until I return from Virginia. I have soooo much to do before I leave on Wednesday. I have to cook, pack and cook some more. Matt asked me again last night what I was bringing. He asked if he could bring another buddy over... of course he can. This is the least that I can do for these young men. I want to wish everyone a very happy 4th of July.