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I'm a 40 something single mother of 2 - Matt, a United States Marine, who is married to the most beautiful girl in the world, Ashley and Kaitlin 14 going on 21, need I say more... two grandchildren, Tyler and Jordyn who is the applie of Mimi's eye... I have the most wonderful man in my life right now. Tony is my true soulmate. I am so happy with my life.... it can't get any better than this!

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Friday, August 17, 2007

HEY.... I SAID HEY... DID I GET YOUR ATTENTION?????

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO Let the party begin!!!!

Y'all just don't have a clue as to how glad I am that it's FRIDAY!!!! The end of the work week which mean I GET TO SLEEP LATE TOMORROW. Now everyone that knows me well knows that I like to sleep in on Saturday. When I say sleep in that's exactly what I mean. I've been known to sleep to close to noon. So unless it's a true emergency like you've just died and gone on to that big mansion in the sky ... don't call me..

;-)

I've got a little Friday funny for ya...one of which I can almost remember and relate too... One that before long my dear daughter will be suffering from. God, I hope she's not like I was... if she is then I will have her pushing up daisies.
Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keepher feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbiturates.
Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass!

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?
Stay motivated to exercise -

We all know exercise is good for us. For many of us getting started isn't as hard as keeping going.
Here's some simple tips to "keep you going."

1. Set goals. Start with short term goals. Decide to exercise for 10 minutes five days and week after lunch.

2. Reward yourself. Recognize your efforts and throw yourself a celebration for achieving your goals. Perhaps a new CD, or walking shoes?

3. Make it social- Exercising with others makes it social. You can support each other and cheer each other on. It really helps you stick with it.

4. Track your progress - This is probably what people hate to do the most, but it's so motivational to look at where you started and see how far you have come!

5. Have fun! Try lots of different things to see what you enjoy.

Remember, exercise doesn't have to mean a gym, walking or running, etc. It can be a cha-cha class, kayaking on the lake, working in the garden, playing hoops with your kids.......

Hope y'all have a good weekend.

SMOOCHES~
Proudly Brought to You by Dixie 8:03 AM


Comments on ""

 

Blogger Travis said ... (8/17/2007 9:55 AM) : 

A cha cha class!! Woooooooooooo!!!

Whenever I hear of someone who's having trouble sticking with an exercise program, I suggest that they take dance. Dance is tremendous exercise and it's fun!

There are ballroom classes all over the country. Do it!!

 

Blogger Tug said ... (8/17/2007 10:53 AM) : 

Have a great weekend Dix!! Sleep a little extra for me, k?

 

Blogger Desert Songbird said ... (8/17/2007 12:12 PM) : 

I hear having sex is good exercise too, if done right...

 

Blogger Dixiechick said ... (8/17/2007 12:24 PM) : 

Trav, I have seriously thought about taking ballroom dancing... but would have to travel to Memphis for that.

Tug, hope you have a great weekend too..

Desert, why yes you are right. That's another post.. ;-) Look for it soon. *giggles*

 

Blogger Linda said ... (8/17/2007 12:59 PM) : 

I love Friday because it's my Saturday and that meant I got to sleep in late today while the rest of the world was still dragging themselves off to work! Of course, I have to drag myself to work on Sunday so I guess turn around is fair play on that one!

No caffeine?? Are they freakin' nuts? And drink more water? Not on a bet!!

Have a fantastic weekend!

 

Blogger Dixiechick said ... (8/17/2007 1:11 PM) : 

Linda, you don't have to rub it in... ;-)

Have a great weekend!

 

Blogger Crazy Working Mom said ... (8/17/2007 1:46 PM) : 

Great post, Dixie! :)

I'm SO glad it's Friday, girlfriend.

Hope you have a restful weekend.

 

Blogger The Blog Fairy said ... (8/17/2007 3:01 PM) : 

Congratulations! You have touched people with your writing. You are a blue-ribbon blogger!br />
YOUR BADGE: http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa43/theblogfairy/blueribbonblogger2.jpg

P.S. I'll be sending a special faerie to watch over Matt.

 

Blogger Lois Grebowski said ... (8/18/2007 8:40 AM) : 

Hugs, hon!

I'll be back next week... Glad to hear Matt is doing well.

 

Blogger lala said ... (8/18/2007 11:32 AM) : 

I'm pretty sure there's water in coffee. Drink more coffee and pretend that caffeine wasn't on the list of things not to do. And I think a heating pad is a nice alternative to exercising. =)

Loved this rant, btw. I like when the packages are bright pink, b/c then I know it's true love when my boyfriend buys them for me and has to walk to the register with a neon feminine product. Hah!

 

Blogger Sarge Charlie said ... (8/18/2007 4:12 PM) : 

Hi Dixie
go to this website and you will hear things that Matt is hearing......

http://www.iwo.com/sound.htm

 

Blogger Special K ~Toni said ... (8/18/2007 8:10 PM) : 

Gawd how I have missed my Dixie! EXERCISE? My ass didn't get this big from that! Not starting while I am hemorrhaging! I hate all that 'have a happy period' crap!

From Matt's letter, he sounds good and extremely positive! I know that I don't know him in real life, but Marine boot camp is the hardest and longest of all branches and I did live in Charleston before, and years and years ago dated a drill instructor from Paris Island- they don't make life easy for the recruits, but it is for their own good. He just sounds great!

 

Blogger Turnbaby said ... (8/19/2007 6:34 AM) : 

OMG

BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


sucking in air


BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can't breathe


"first responders" LOLOLOL


I can actually 'hear' you saying this omg LOLOLOL

Sugarbaby--my god that's a standup comedy routine right there

SMOOCHES ;-P

 

Blogger Crazy Working Mom said ... (8/19/2007 10:02 AM) : 

Congrats on the award from the blog fairy (there wasn't a place for a comment there).

Matt will be fine, honey! He's tough and he'll make it through.

I sent him a card with some stamps in it Friday. I didn't send envelopes, though.

 

Blogger the108 said ... (8/19/2007 2:40 PM) : 

Dix, Dean had never run a BLOCK before basic training...lol. Plus, he was a smoker and just a scrawny thing... Matt will improve really, really fast just as soon as he gets adjusted to the "runner's high" you get after the first mile or so. My hubby who hadn't ever ran a block can now do ten miles. Matt'll get there a lot faster than he thinks!

 

Blogger Julie said ... (8/19/2007 3:20 PM) : 

Oh Dixie darling...great post.

The letter from Matt sounds like he is doing just fine. Maybe not where he would like to be but not discouraged at all! That's most of the battle right there!

Rag banter.....unbelievable! I like the part about "does ripping someone's head off count as friggen' activity?" That just cracks me up!

Hmmm Social excercise usually was followed up with DQ! I just couldn't help it!

Hope your weekend was lovely!

 

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