HEY.... I SAID HEY... DID I GET YOUR ATTENTION????? IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO Let the party begin!!!! Y'all just don't have a clue as to how glad I am that it's FRIDAY!!!! The end of the work week which mean I GET TO SLEEP LATE TOMORROW. Now everyone that knows me well knows that I like to sleep in on Saturday. When I say sleep in that's exactly what I mean. I've been known to sleep to close to noon. So unless it's a true emergency like you've just died and gone on to that big mansion in the sky ... don't call me.. ;-) I've got a little Friday funny for ya...one of which I can almost remember and relate too... One that before long my dear daughter will be suffering from. God, I hope she's not like I was... if she is then I will have her pushing up daisies. Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. *Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. *Try Kotex blah blah blah other products... Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keepher feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity????? Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbiturates. Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!! So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass! P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead? Stay motivated to exercise - We all know exercise is good for us. For many of us getting started isn't as hard as keeping going. Here's some simple tips to "keep you going." 1. Set goals. Start with short term goals. Decide to exercise for 10 minutes five days and week after lunch. 2. Reward yourself. Recognize your efforts and throw yourself a celebration for achieving your goals. Perhaps a new CD, or walking shoes? 3. Make it social- Exercising with others makes it social. You can support each other and cheer each other on. It really helps you stick with it. 4. Track your progress - This is probably what people hate to do the most, but it's so motivational to look at where you started and see how far you have come! 5. Have fun! Try lots of different things to see what you enjoy. Remember, exercise doesn't have to mean a gym, walking or running, etc. It can be a cha-cha class, kayaking on the lake, working in the garden, playing hoops with your kids....... Hope y'all have a good weekend. SMOOCHES~