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Location: Tennessee, United States

I'm a 40 something single mother of 2 - Matt, a United States Marine, who is married to the most beautiful girl in the world, Ashley and Kaitlin 14 going on 21, need I say more... two grandchildren, Tyler and Jordyn who is the applie of Mimi's eye... I have the most wonderful man in my life right now. Tony is my true soulmate. I am so happy with my life.... it can't get any better than this!

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Friday, April 20, 2007

I swear that I have given birth to Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde, the Drama Queen, the ANTICHRIST… Seriously folks… this is definitely a child stuck in the “ME” Generation… It’s all about “HER”….

Friday, Easter weekend we go shopping… Kaitlin is the sweetest child on earth. We take her to Build a Bear, out to supper at Olive Garden, buy her an outfit, against my better judgment, at Limited Too, and what does she turn into MISS HYDE…

I deal with it… pisses me off, but I deal with it. It’s late and I’m really tired…

Saturday, Easter weekend we go shopping after we have pick up Tony’s niece Yanni and head off again.. … Kaitlin is the sweetest child on earth… hey, this is beginning to sound like a repeat…. but it’s not… We take her with us once again… Drama Queen transforms and begs and begs for a freakin Hermit Crab... so instead of the Drama Queen making a bigger scene, I buy her the freakin Hermit Crab. She's still in Drama Queen mode and I had already said that I would buy her a pair of really cute wedge dress shoes and her Easter dress… so I do and no scene is made... We finish our shopping and head to the car.

Now it’s really cold Easter weekend and my Drama Queen, Miss Hyde, the ANTICHIRST, what ever you want to call her has decided that she wants to wear shorts and a thin t-shirt with sandals… fine I say, we’ll be mostly in the car and then in the mall… well… going to the car she decides that she wants to take her own sweet time all the time giving lip service. So….. I take the bags that I have in my hand, one being the one with the shoes in it, rare back and proceed to hit her in the butt. Remember, we are in the parking lot of the mall, security all around and people coming and going to and from the mall. I have managed to piss my child off… what else is new….

We get in the car and she proceeds to kick me in the arm… OH YES SHE DID!!! I had ALL I could take… I take my seat belt off, jump up in the seat on BOTH knees, turn around and let me tell you Madea ain’t got NOTHING on me… needless to say she was really good for the next few days.

For those who do not know who Madea is ... she is Mabel "Madea" R. Simmons a fictional character created and played by Tyler Perry. She is an aggressive, threatening woman who will argue with anyone. This is reflected in her tag line, "Purnch You in the Face!" However, she is also part of a large family, with many children and grandchildren. Her name is spelled variously as "Mabel" and "Mable," probably in order to confuse government authorities and others when applying for jobs, getting credit cards, etc ... Madea is known for her part in "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and "Madea's Family Reunion". Some of her most famous quotes are "Heluur", "Hell Naw", "All right, Mother Goose. You try to raise Chucky, Freddy Krueger, and Jason and tell me children ain't bad."

Fast forward to last night… no sooner than I step ONE not both but ONE freakin foot in the door I hear “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM”…. I don’t answer... I would like to get in the house, put down my poop load of groceries before my freakin arm breaks… “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM”… again, I don’t answer….. I proceed to put down the groceries, my purse, take off my shoes… “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”…. Ok, I’ve had it now… I stomp around the corner and yell “WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. KAITLIN?” Oh nothing, just wanted to make sure it was you….

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…. I change cloths and start supper…. “MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM” I roll my eyes because I know what’s coming… “will you take me to Kayla’s softball game?” No I will not I tell her… I’m cooking supper, I have 2 loads of cloths to wash and I’m tired….

Now enter the Antichrist… I swear I thought flames were going to shoot from her mouth… “You never do anything for me… You NEVER buy me anything… You NEVER take me anywhere… You need to learn some parenting skills….

EXCUSE ME….. I NEED TO LEARN WHAT??????? I think that you need to learn children skills…… She starts to see my transformation to Madea and heads to her room….she was good the rest of the night…


Hopefully when I get home this afternoon I won’t have the antichrist in my house… however if I do I can already see my transformation to Madea…
Have a good weekend all....
Proudly Brought to You by Dixie 8:06 AM

Comments on ""


Blogger Piacere said ... (4/20/2007 10:39 AM) : 

LOLOLOL!!! The Anti-Christ...spawn of SATAN????

If I were you, I'd definitely call the PO PO!!!!!



Blogger Matt-Man said ... (4/20/2007 10:53 AM) : 

Slip her some Wild Irish Rose in a glass of pop or something...She will either be an angel or pass out. Either way, you win. Cheers!!


Blogger Bond said ... (4/20/2007 11:25 AM) : 

You mean? You angry? nah... this is fiction ain't it?

How many times have I told you... sprinkle some of your pain medication onto her peanut butter and jelly...she will be more relaxed


Blogger Maryfly said ... (4/20/2007 11:44 AM) : 

thank goodness I had a boy and not a girl......I feel for ya sweetie!



Blogger SGT DUB said ... (4/20/2007 11:48 AM) : 

I tell Miss Dub that it was for her that I went back to Afghanistan, without me at the house, she would live to see 13. She has it bad sometime, poor thing, she has the genes of her mother for wanting the last word, and my genes for being a smart-a$$, she doesn't stand a chance.


Blogger Dixiechick said ... (4/20/2007 12:22 PM) : 

Pia, yes she is her daddy's child...

Matt, I don't think I would have to slip her anything... she would probably like the Irish Rose... thanks for the idea... ;-)

Bond, Yup... I was more than angry.. I was pissed... I'm gonna do more than pain meds on PB&J.. LMOO

Mary, I have both and had much rather have the boys. I love my daughter, but DAYUM....

Sgt... hopefully Kaitlin will live to see 13... right now I have no idea... ;-)


Blogger Tug said ... (4/20/2007 1:39 PM) : 

oh you poor thing...& she hasn't even hit jr. high or high school yet.

**ducks & runs**

Hang in there!!


Blogger Dixiechick said ... (4/20/2007 2:11 PM) : 

Tug, next year is Jr. High.... that is if she lives that long.... that depends on how she does this weekend... ;-)


Blogger the108 said ... (4/20/2007 3:08 PM) : 

Se,, I'm the opposite... I have boys and girls and would much rather deal with the girls. My boys drive me crazy! In fact, Matthew and Kaitlyn would probably get along just fine...lol.


Blogger Meribah said ... (4/20/2007 3:33 PM) : 

I suggest getting some holy water and a crucifix next time! LMOO Hang in there, hon, 'cause it HAS to get better...right? I wouldn't know, not having any kids of my own! :P


Blogger Starrlight said ... (4/20/2007 3:36 PM) : 

yowza! How old is she?


Blogger Dixiechick said ... (4/20/2007 3:37 PM) : 

108, give me your addy and I'll ship her to ya... LOL

Meri, One day soon I will write the story about the crucifix and holy water... that has been done already... LOL


Blogger Dixiechick said ... (4/20/2007 3:38 PM) : 

Starrlight, she is 12 going on 21. She may live to see 13 if any luck.


Blogger Angell said ... (4/20/2007 4:28 PM) : 

THAT is the reason I want boys - cuz mama already gave me THE CURSE and Lawd knows I do NOT want a child that is just like me.

Hats off to ya luv - I woulda whomped her a good one with that parenting skills remark.


Blogger Travis said ... (4/20/2007 7:40 PM) : 

This would be reason #794 that I do not have these small people in my house.


Blogger Army Mom Times Three said ... (4/21/2007 9:45 AM) : 

Well, I could fill pages with comments on this subject. But I'll just add a few from my life experiences.

1) I was the only girl after three boys and life was wonderful until I hit 12 --- the usual hormonal craziness that happens to all females set in.

2) My mother handled my "hormonal years" so badly that by the time I graduated from high school I had absolutely no self esteem, confidence and an echo in my head for years "you are a miserable person and you make everyone around you miserable".


3) My own beautiful daughter turned 12 and morphed into something similar to a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and spewing lies day and night.

BUT -- and this is a big BUT -- I'd "been there, done that" and KNEW I'd not acted that way intentionally; more uncontrollably, and I certainly wasn't HAPPY about my behavior. So MY MISSION was that my daughter and those of us around her would survive those years with our sanity and as few regrets possible.

Some of my friends did not approve of my methods of handling her behavior --- she wasn't their kid; none of their biz --- and at times I did have to let my husband take over while I went in my room and cried.

But --- and this is a bigger BUT --- she grew out of it (as I knew she would), she was a cheerleader in her senior year, she is beautiful - inside and out - has incredible confidence and self esteem and can do anything she sets her mind to. Last year she made almost as much $$$ as I did and in three weeks she is closing on the purchase of her first house. She's 23 and absolutely FABULOUS!


Blogger Linda said ... (4/21/2007 3:32 PM) : 

Must be something in the air as Amanda has been a royal pain in my back end lately, too, with all of the eye-rolling and sighing and moody moments. It's like she changed overnight, though, into a whiny teenager that drives me up the wall demanding all sorts of things but not doing anything in return. I'm hoping it's just a stage, I really, really am!


Blogger Dana said ... (4/21/2007 3:54 PM) : 

ROTFLMOO! Oh my, that sounds like Bethany...one day she's all sweet and hugging on me...the next she's turned into the devil's cabana girl.


Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said ... (4/22/2007 8:09 AM) : 

hint: there are cameras in the parking lots of malls! bwahahahaha

smiles, bee


Blogger Skittles said ... (4/22/2007 12:02 PM) : 

Oh my god! Poor you!!! Hang some garlic around your neck just to be safe...


Blogger julie said ... (4/22/2007 8:05 PM) : 

Oh my.....well I never!!!!!

My heart goes out to you sweetie!


Blogger Comedy + said ... (4/23/2007 2:14 PM) : 

Oh, I remember this. Right out of the EXORCIST! Yep, it's a hecka lot funnier hearing it from you though. They get through it and that guilt trip stuff they learn in the 2ond or 3rd grade. Thanks for my laugh this afternoon. Hope she makes it past 13 though!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4/25/2007 6:08 AM) : 

It doesn't get any better as they get older, either! lol. My guy will call me on the phone, just to argue with me...! ;)


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