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Location: Tennessee, United States

I'm a 40 something single mother of 2 - Matt, a United States Marine, who is married to the most beautiful girl in the world, Ashley and Kaitlin 14 going on 21, need I say more... two grandchildren, Tyler and Jordyn who is the applie of Mimi's eye... I have the most wonderful man in my life right now. Tony is my true soulmate. I am so happy with my life.... it can't get any better than this!

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Matt is 4th from the left

Tuesday night, April 17 was the Annual Family Night for all future Marines. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

So we get to the VFW Post, sign in and Matt goes over to where some of his other buddies are sitting. Kaitlin follows him and stays with him until it’s time for the guys to head up front. No problem… she does the annoying typical little sister thing. I thought Matt was going to crawl under the table…. Finally the night is called to order….

The recruiter from the Jackson area welcomes all of us and then calls for all future Marines to come to the front. So here they go…. Ok… let’s rewind about 45 minutes. We are in the car and since Tony and I have quit smoking we are chewing the heck out of some gum so Matt asks for a piece. Gladly giving it to him but not know what was to come. Ok… fast forward…. To 7:10 pm…. All the guys are in formation …. From the picture you can see that Matt was front center. I’m sitting in the back so I have to stand up to really see what is going on.

I stand up to take a few pictures and get a clear view of what they are to expect. To my horror, disbelief and embarrassment Matt is standing there not chewing but chomping the hell out of the gum that I had given him earlier. Oh god… I thought I was going to have to crawl under the table. What was this child thinking or better yet what was he NOT thinking??!!??

So the Drill Sergeant starts this yelling… and the guys start screaming Aye, Aye Sir which of course sounds like “ICER”… in a few post back I told y’all what a friend of our had told Matt about the Marines… anyway…

Matt is screaming “ICER” and chomping the hell out of the gum. CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP on the left side of his mouth… CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP on the right side … back to the left… back to the right… BREATH…… when he came up for breath he would stick out between this front teeth, he would take a deep breath and then CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP on the left side of his mouth… CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP on the right side … back to the left… back to the right… BREATH…… you get the picture…

The Drill Sergeant would scream for them to go this way, go that way, sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, go this way, go that way, go this way, go that way, sit down, stand up, sit down… oh this went on forever and all the time Matt chomping his gum as fast as he could chomp.

After they sat down, the Sergeant told them the correct way to sit… to me it was kind of Indian style with their hands on their knees and back straight. I’m still standing up watching and look directly as Matt and mouth “Swallow your gum”… he gives me a really weird look and I mouth again, this time slower… “SWALLOW. YOUR. GUM”… another weird look, he’s not getting it … so I take a piece of gum out of the pack, show is to him, put it toward my throat and for the final time say “SWALLOW. YOUR. GUM”…..

FINALLY….. HE GETS IT!!!!!! Do you know how hard it was for me to not go up there, grab him by the chin hair and yell at him SWALLOW YOUR GUM!!!! I probably would have scared the Drill Sergeant…. Actually, I was waiting for the Drill Sergeant to say something to him about the gum but he never did. I know he saw it. I just hope and pray that he is not Matt’s Drill Sergeant at Parris Island. I know that he will probably remember that gum chewing kid at Jackson in the center of the front row.

So he finally swallows the gum… now its Kaitlin’s turn. She get up, no problem… goes over to the food table, which by the way was just right behind up… not far… about 5 steps… fills her plate up, heads back to our table and I hear “SPLAT”…. I look around and she is flat on her face.

I need to tell you that she is wearing a pair of sandals with a slight wedge heel and really doesn’t walk very well in them…. But her excuse was there was a grape in the floor and she slipped on it… anyway… one of the Drill Sergeants from Parris Island, not the one screaming, but another one is standing there and actually gets to her before me. Even though all I would have to do is turn around and help her up…he’s right there at her…

Can I interject here and say that I truly have a Drama Queen on my hands and she knows exactly how to milk it for all it’s worth. She won’t let me help her up… she wants the man in uniform to help her up… drama, drama, drama… she wants the man in uniform to get her an ice bag for her knee… drama, drama, drama… There is not ONE FREAKIN SCRATCH ON HER FREAKIN KNEE… NOT ONE I TELL YOU!!!! But she is our Drama Queen and a damn good one too.

Finally, the guys are allowed to go back to their families. Kaitlin wants to go back over to where Matt is sitting but I won’t let her. God forbid if she should get up again and fall….PUL-LEEAAASSSEEE…..

The Drill Sergeants from Parris Island and the Recruiter tell us what we can expect when our boys go to boot camp. They guarantee us that it in no way will be like Full Metal Jacket, that the recruits will get 3 square meals a day and 8 hours of rest at night. They have a question and answer time, which was very interesting. Every question that I had, there was someone before me who ask it so I didn’t have to raise my hand. Thank god because I had already had enough drama for one night. I did not want to be remembered as the Mom of the Marine Recruit who CHOMPED HIS FREAKIN GUM and THE DRAMA QUEEN. By the end of the night, I just wanted to go home….

You may be asking yourself where is Tony… Tony is sitting right there next to me LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF!!!! Things like this just don’t bother him… I guess they shouldn’t bother me either but they do.

Reminder… next time I won’t be handing out any gum and Kaitlin sure won’t be wearing those shoes!
Proudly Brought to You by Dixie 8:12 AM

Comments on ""


Blogger Angell said ... (4/19/2007 11:11 AM) : 

ROTFLMOO - Oh Dix - having been that little drama queen I can so picture it.

What a stressful night for you - thankfully you're not going with Matt.

And what would you expect Tony to do? He's a man after all...


Blogger Comedy + said ... (4/19/2007 11:35 AM) : 

Bwahahahahahah - OMG! What could go wrong did. This is absolutely hilarious...


Blogger the108 said ... (4/19/2007 11:37 AM) : 

Sounds like you had an adventure...LOL! I also have a drama queen only he is more of a king. I can quite honestly see him doing much the same as your daughter :-)


Blogger Matt-Man said ... (4/19/2007 12:49 PM) : 

Geez...I get worn out just hearing you mention Parris Island. There is no way in hell I would make it through there...Even when I was young!! Cheers...


Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said ... (4/19/2007 12:56 PM) : 

a night to remember, be proud honey, i know you are....

smiles, bee


Blogger Tug said ... (4/19/2007 1:54 PM) : 

ohhhhh...So do kids REALLY keep us young, or do they age us far too quickly. heh.

Glad you all made it home safely!


Blogger Meribah said ... (4/19/2007 4:33 PM) : 

Bwahahahahaha! Oh man, this was gooooooooooooooood! I'm sorry you had a rough night, but I'm sure your kids will grow up to be well-adjusted adults...until they have kids of their own! LOL :P


Blogger Travis said ... (4/19/2007 8:05 PM) : 

If the parents hadn't been there, Matt would have been wearing that gum on his nose for a week.


I hope you're a little more relaxed about what Matt can expect when he goes to boot camp.


Blogger Gail said ... (4/19/2007 8:31 PM) : 

Have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard....

From what would have been a terribly emotional night to a funny one...this was great!!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4/19/2007 10:30 PM) : 

LMAO. You'll laugh too...one day. Of course your kids are still pretty young - you have alot of embarassing situations left to get through! LOL - Anna


Blogger Amazing Gracie said ... (4/19/2007 11:15 PM) : 

The sad part about all of this is, if it had been my family, I would've been the one who fell and my teeth would've skidded out across the floor and poor Matt would've died! But they would've forgotten about the gum, for sure!


Blogger Merle said ... (4/19/2007 11:25 PM) : 

Hi Dixie ~~ What a night you had and it was worse for you than it warranted - no more gum, which would be hard to swallow after a lifetime
of "don;t swallow the gum !! Loved your little drama queen going for the
uniform. Don't worry about it Dixie.
Thanks for your comments and I am glad you enjoy the posts. Thanks for the welcome back. Take care, LOve,


Blogger Maryfly said ... (4/20/2007 11:50 AM) : 

oh Dixie girl, too funny!! "splat" BWAHAHAHAHA!! Tony's got a great attitude!

love you


Blogger julie said ... (4/22/2007 8:13 PM) : 

Oh my....you have had your hands full as I read your daily activities backward.

Give the lil drama babe an Oscar!


Blogger julie said ... (4/22/2007 8:21 PM) : 

Oh Pia...I just clicked on this image to see the logos closer and my kids attend Bowling Green and Ohio State and they are right there beside each other! I'm in tears!!


Blogger julie said ... (4/23/2007 11:59 PM) : 

Hmmm WTF? How did that get there?

Tries to swipe it and put it where it belongs.


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