IN THE NEWS TODAY and OTHER STUFF! Willie Nelson and four others were "On The Road Again" when issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway. The citations were issued after a commercial vehicle inspection of the country music star's tour bus. When the door was opened and the trooper began to speak to the driver, he smelled the strong odor of marijuana. A search of the bus produced 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana and 0.2 pounds of narcotic mushrooms. Each was released after being issued a citation. Now if this had been me...they would have put me UNDER THE JAIL! I must flip back a day or two in the world of college football! Let's start with the biggest surprise to me - UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY!!!!! WOOOO HOOOO... They actually beat Ole Miss..... I was speechless when I heard this. Oh how I am wishing they beat Florida this weekend. But it's definately going to be hard one especially since they are traveling to "The Swamp"..... You know my two favorite teams are THE UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE and WHOEVER PLAYS FLORIDA!!!!!! GO CATS GO!!!! Now on to my favorite team - UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS! GO VOLS! WOOOOO HOOOOOO...... Although I didn't get to watch the game Saturday night, as we were having a blast at the fair, I was surprised to see that Florida only beat us by one point. I do not know the complete story.. so I'm not going to elaborate. Must state rather quickly that the St. Louis Cardinal's Magic Number now is "7" for those of you who are interested. You know who you are..... ;-) AHOY MATEY - Today is "Talk Like a Pirate Day... to update your pirate talk, I have found this website : http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html HOW TO CALL THE POLICE!!! George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story) I LOVE IT... AND FINALLY IN HONOR OF STUPID PEOPLE! In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers. On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.) "Do not iron clothes on body."(I have a friend that did iron a blouse while she had it on) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (..I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)... ****Blessed are the cracked: for it is they who let in the light***** Love ya'll more than Anndi loves her luggage and remember ----- Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. Life is LIKE a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today many burn your ass tomorrow! Lee Ann