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I'm a 40 something single mother of 2 - Matt, a United States Marine, who is married to the most beautiful girl in the world, Ashley and Kaitlin 14 going on 21, need I say more... two grandchildren, Tyler and Jordyn who is the applie of Mimi's eye... I have the most wonderful man in my life right now. Tony is my true soulmate. I am so happy with my life.... it can't get any better than this!

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Monday, September 18, 2006

YUCKY MONDAY!
I really, really hate Mondays! Especially when they are rainy, dreary, yucky, and cool! Today has not started out good. I sure hope it gets better!
After my morning meeting, my phone rings and it's Matt.... "MOM... I'VE HYDRAPLANED... CALL ME." Well, come to find out, he was headed to school and he hydraplaned in the same spot that I did about 15 years ago. With as much rain as we've had last night and this morning, I can see it happening. He's ok... didn't really do much damage to his truck.... it did bust the break line, but I told him to go home and not worry about school today. Called the school and they agreed with me. Thank God!
THEN......
I get a call from the school nurse at the elementary school where Kaitlin goes. "Ms. Caffrey, this is the school nurse, Kaitlin has come to the office with a pencil led stuck in her knee. I have cleaned it, but we are not allowed to try and get it out." Ok, I say, I'll get it out when I get home. Just put a bandaid on it. She'll be just fine!
What else can go wrong today???? Ooops... I better not say that!!!!!
Still trying to re-coup from the fair experience Saturday night.
I realized Saturday night that I'm not as young as I use to be. Haven't been on a ride in YEARS! Well, Tony and I decided that we would ride 2 rides. We had already decided what 2 rides we wanted to ride so we bought the tickets and headed for the first ride. The first ride was 1001 Nachts... you get in this box type thing and lock yourself in. As the ride starts, it slings you from right to left and then you go really high up in the air all the time you are being slung from side to side. It was really fun. Tony and I laughed the entire ride. The next ride was a Pirate Ship type thing. We sat in the back and this ride, once again, goes high in the air as you are sailing... Fun Fun!!!! After we rode those 2 rides, we had 4 tickets left over and "I" wanted to ride this ride called "Freak Out".... well... I really should have listened to my inner self, but I didn't. I get on this ride, have a hell of a time getting into the seat because there is a fiberglass thingy sticking up and it's really hard to get over this thing without it sticking up butt. No, I didn't get a thrill..... so I FINALLY get over this hump thing and pull the bar over my shoulders. The Carnys' have a hell of a time getting my bar to lock... didn't help that my size DD boobs were in the way. Should have known this was another sign that I shouldn't be on this ride... still not listening to my inner self.... the light finally comes on that my bar is locked. The whole time I'm saying to a young man sitting next to me, "I've riden worse rides than this before at Six Flags." Well, the bottom of the ride drops and this thing starts going up in the air. As this thing starts going up in the air, it starts to swing like a pendelum. As it is swinging it is slinging you and the next thing I know we are upside down, swinging like a pendelum. I. SHOULD. HAVE. LISTENED. TO. MY. INNER. SELF!!!!!! You know, I would have been ok, but the not knowing for sure if my bar was securly locked was still in my mind. I was so relieved when the ride finally came to a stop. I didn't fall out, I didn't throw up, but I did realize that I'M NOT AS YOUNG AS I USE TO BE.......
Oh the fair food was wonderful! Thank god these things only come around once a year!
Once again, I'm going to leave you with some funnies:
FOUR CATHOLIC MOTHERS
Four Catholic mothers were having coffee together and discussing howwonderful their children were. The first mother told her friends, ""My son is a priest. When he walks into a room everyone calls him 'Father' "".
The second Catholic woman chirped, ""Well, my son is abishop. Whenever he walks into a room people say 'Your Grace' "".
The third Catholic woman said smugly. ""Well, not to putyou down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room people say 'YourEminence' "".
The fourth Catholic woman sipped her coffee in silence. The first three women gave her a subtle ""Well....?"" She replied,
"My son is a handsome 6 foot 4 inch, hard-bodied Chippendale stripper.
Whenever he walks into a roomeveryone says 'My God'".
MR. SMITH
Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college so that she would not get angry. He was very happy and for months all was well. As fate would have it, one day in the grocery store check out lane, Mrs. Smith overheard a group of girls standing in line behind her talking about college and their instructor Mr. Smith. The girls went on and on about how great this Mr. Smith was at teaching their class. The cashier handed Mrs. Smith her change and said, "Have a great day Mrs. Smith, and thank you, again." One of the girls in line heard the cashier, and asked Mrs. Smith if she was related to the Mr. Smith that was teaching at the college. Mrs. Smith replied, "Yes, he is my husband." Well that set off a torrent of accolades about how knowledgeable Mr. Smith was about the subject matter he was teaching, about how he got the whole class to discuss their fears about learning the subject. Well Mrs. Smith was taken back by what she heard from these girls and replied, "I don't know how you find him to be so gifted at teaching you this course. You know he only tried it twice in his life. The first time he tried it, he got sick, and the second time, his hat blew off and he just quit."
AND FINALLY....
JUNIOR
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years."
AND REMEMBER........
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!!!!!!!
Love ya'll more than Anndi loves her luggage!
Lee Ann
Proudly Brought to You by Dixie 11:01 AM


Comments on ""

 

Blogger Turnbaby said ... (9/18/2006 7:44 PM) : 

LOl sugar--at least it was not as bad as it could have been--ADORE the jalapeno's tag--damn --I'll never think of anything that funny

Love you

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Blogger Turnbaby said ... (9/18/2006 7:46 PM) : 

Oh and I hate to say this sugar--- but what kind of a world is it when Tennessee loses and Kentucky wins and we actually complain more. GO BIG BLUE!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO
(don't worry-- you know Florida is kicking our ass)

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9/18/2006 11:23 PM) : 

why did I ever upgrade to the beta-blogger....

arg.. now I can only post as Anonymous on the non-beta blogs! arg

I am the biggest baby on rides... I scream like a pre-teen girl and embarrass anyone with me, so you are wayyyy ahead of me Dix!

BOND

 

Anonymous Maryfly said ... (9/19/2006 6:12 AM) : 

I had someone vomit on my shoes on one of those Pirate Ship rides... will never go on it again!!

Loved the jokes!!

hugs!!

 

Anonymous Anndi said ... (9/19/2006 10:40 PM) : 

Yup.. Bond screams like a little girl allright!
Thanks for the laughs hun, I love ya more than a whole store full of luggage!

 

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